It was me, completely naked, lying on a sofa, a velvet-covered sofa. It was me looking sexy! Never in my entire life had I ever thought I could ever look sexy. It was me looking beautiful. I always hated the way I looked. I always thought I was ugly. Mum had painted me beautiful. She had painted me touching my boob! I know she’d made that part up – Mum had never, ever, ever seen me doing anything like that! Apart from anything else, my boob hasn’t even really started growing. Maybe she made the rest of it up too.Doubts attacked me like a buzzing cloud of wasps swarming inside my skull.I stood, peering into the mirror. It was still me. Still the same me, but at the same time it was a different me. It was the new me – the post-epiphany me! I peered into the mirror trying to see past my loose clothing to find the me that Mum had seen. Trying to see the me that Mum had painted.Vaguely I became aware of Mum standing right behind me, whispering into my ear. “Not like that! You won’t. She couldn't believe she had let her husband talk her into coming, when he saw the announcement that Gerard was going to be the featured speaker at this business conference. Michael was obsessed with her hooking up with Gerard, and after a week of cajoling, she had finally agreed.So here she was. It had taken her forever this morning deciding what to wear. She finally decided on a black business dress. If she did work up the courage to actually go talk to Gerard, she didn't want to be wearing something too revealing. At the last minute, thought, she decided to not wear the pin she normally wore with the dress, so the swooping neckline of the dress exposed a hint of her cleavage.Gerard's speech ended, and a large group of people quickly formed around him, vying for his attention. Jen saw that many were very attractive women. Everyone else started moving out of the room, and Jen was left sitting by herself. She was trying to decide whether to join the crowd around Gerard — she didn't.
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